Derryberry's NBA corner

Derryberry’s NBA corner
Some news and notes from around the NBA. First off my Fantasy team “the Tom Chambers battle there way to a tie against Kyle’s team. Now I’m on to the Sex Panthers and Mike Miller so that should be a win for the all Tom Chambers. Now around the L:I watched the Knicks Timber Wolves game on fox sport network and man the those young wolves play hard, and I’m pretty sure the Knicks second five could beat their first five in a seven game series because Curry and Randolph don’t even attempt to play fake defense. Why aren’t more teams lining up to get Kobe, didn’t any one else watch the Rockets game, the guy is the best ball player on the planet not named Tim Duncan, heck even if I were the Spurs I would offer Parker and Manu for Bryant. Bryant wouldn’t accept the trade because he would be the second banana again. And way to go bulls 0 and 3 still thinking that not giving up all the talent for KG or Kobe is a good move.
On to this week’s ranking which is a combination for what’s going on right now and what will happen over the course of the season. This week’s ranking will be ranked by the types of girls I have dated over the years. It should be fun.
The Self Harmer Division (Yes I dated a girl who had a bad history of self harming by cutting her arms. Let’s hope she got some help)
30) Minnesota Timber Wolves :( 0-2) Last week 30 they did all they harming to this team when the traded KG which s always means a couple years of rebuilding. These guys seem to be playing hard so my bet is the young guys learn on the job and then they start knocking off teams like the Bulls, Cavs, and Nets late in the season and every body will be surprised
29) Portland Trailblazers: (0-3): Last week 29 Oden was the big injury to this team chances this year and now we have to wait a year for to see what these guys can do. Aldridge seems to playing well and Roy is a keeper.
28) Seattle Super Sonics: (0-3) Last week 25 Guess it’s going to take a while for Durant to make an impact.
27) Sacramento Kings: (0-3) Last week 20 big drop but they just lost Bibby for four weeks, and they weren’t winning with him. Even though Artest is complying with the curfew rule and no cell phone rule this team is just bad.
26) Philadelphia Sixers: (1-2) Last Week 26 Ruining the home opener of the Bulls makes me happy because I don’t like the Bulls organization: it’s a Cavs thing. But the Bulls are winless meaning you don’t get credit for that win meaning anything. The new AI looks good.

We’ve got a stage five clinger division (the girl who for some odd reason falls head over heals in love you after a two minute conversation and then all the sudden your cell phone is ringing 15 times a day, they start to pop up every you go, and they might be borderline stalking you and every guy can admit they’ve had one of these)
25) Memphis Grizzlies: (0-2) Last week 18 Clinging to the hopes that Papavich was right when the spurs coach said he thought Memphis would make the play offs. Good News Pau said he likes Memphis and doesn’t want to be traded.
24) Milwaukee Bucks: (1-2) Last Week 19 Clinging to the hopes that this Chinese guy will turn into some thing special. He did look good in the home opener scoring 16
23) New York Knicks: (1-1) Last week 21 Clinging to Isaiah Thomas and you guess is as good as mine as to why. And clinging to the fact that they can out score people because they don’t seem to play defense except for Lee and Balkman
22) LA Clippers: (2-0) Last week 28 Clinging to the hope that they can keep this up without Elton Brand. I’m betting they can’t
21) Indiana Pacers: (3-0) Last week 27 Clinging to the fact they started 3 and 0 but before you go buy your Dunleavy Jersey the combined record of the three teams they have beaten 0-8. That’s right the Indiana Pacers Undefeated against the defeated.
The you’ve got a smoking body but nothing really going on under the hood division ( for the girls I’ve and the pleasure of meeting that make me do the double take until they start talking and then you realize why they are available because they are just like a baby pool not very deep. You can also throw the high maintenance ones in here has well. With all that said the thing about these girls, we all give them third of four chances to prove their worth a damn because they are so hot)
20) Washington Wizrads: (0-3) Last week 17 you see Gilbert Arenas and you think Agent Zero. They are going to win some games. So they look good but with him dragging the knee around right now they aren’t. When he gets healthy they’ll start winning some games not before.
19) Atlanta Hawks: (1-1) Last week 22 It’s good for the Hawks to be in the Smoking body division because they haven’t even had that the last decade. So let’s take them out on a couple of more dates and see if they got something else going for them.
18) New Orleans Hornets: (2-0) Last week 24 See comment above
17) Charlotte Bobcats: (2-0) Last week 23 See comment above and Gerald Wallace is a Fantasy stud
16) Miami Heat: (0-3) Last week 12 Until Wade gets back they Heat are all looks, Sorry Shaq and Mourning you both are still effective but not good enough to carry a team without another star.
Don’t Promise Crazy a baby Division (I know what you are thinking the party drunk loud crazy girl that you swear you’ll never talk to again this high, but go back and think about all those party girls, You remember them because they were fun, every once in a while usually when no one was around they showed potential, they were great in bed, and the took your emotions on a roller coaster ride and more than likely left them bruised. Here’s the thing you always remember them because the ride was so crazy)
15) Chicago Bulls:(0-3) Last week 11 Crazy for not trading for Kobe, and until they do they will be an also ran in the eastern conference which is like being the guy who goes to homecoming with the forth runner-up
14) Golden State: (0-3) Last week 10 Stephen Jackson returns with a tattoo of a praying hands holding a gun and he explained it as I pray I never have to use that thing again. See they fit crazy to a T
13) New Jersey Nets: (2-1) Last week 16 Crazy for giving Vince guaranteed Money considering the size of his heart is about as big as the knowledge D-Schaff has on scoring points in a game, not that much
12) Orlando Magic: (2-1) Last week 14 Dwight is going to be Crazy good considering he’s 21 and they are still crazy for giving Lewis all that money
11) LA Lakers: (2-1) Last week 13 Crazy if they trade Kobe, Repeat after me you don’t trade Kobe.
She had it all but and it was a big but Division (for the girl you thought was the one, the one you allowed your mom to meet, the one you started bringing on your camping trips with your buddies but something happened, something a little off, either she broke your heart by cheating on you, or you or her couldn’t make that last commitment maybe the be the timing was off. This girl left you heart broken because you thought you had something special but you didn’t) For the record I hate this type of girl I would rather mess with crazy or find the one any day of the week then be with a she had it all but
10) Toronto Raptors: (2-1) Last week 15 I like this team they play hard, their unselfish but they won’t be able to hang with the big boys in the playoffs
9) Utah Jazz: (2-2) Last week 5 if they only played Golden state 82 games a year. They better figure out how to beat some one else
8) Cleveland Cavs: (1-2) Last week 3 They should commit to getting ride of every one on that roster but Lebron, Gibson, big Z, and Gooden. Lebron needs help and soon or this west coast trip to start the season will hang over their heads all year long.
7) Detroit Pistons: (3-0) Last week 8 Playing will in the regular season nothing new to Detroit but Prince playing like a king. If he keeps that up maybe the window isn’t closed
6) Denver Nuggets: (2-1) Last week 7 They have everything every other west team has a super star or two, they can score, they can play defense with Camby, oh wait that’ right discipline and experience. That’s why they are the bride’s maid yet again.
The meet me at the alter Division (the girls who has got it all brain and beauty in that order, your friends like her but are a little jealous because you are spending more time with her then them, your mother gave you the if you screw this one speech. Of course I’ve never had the one but I would like to think one day I will)
9) Houston Rockets: (3-1) Last week 9 they seem to like playing a little more up-tempo, good now maybe the league will never hire Jeff Van Gundy and his ugly ways again.
6) Dallas Mavericks: (3-1) Last week 6 Won their first real moxy test, but after getting dumped in the finals two years ago, and then having golden start steal with girl away from last year their will always be a cloud over this wedding until they have that ring on the finger
2) Pheonix Suns: (2-1) Last week 2 won’t know whether their marriage material until Amare comes back but their still nice to look at
4) Boston Celtics: (2-0) Last week 4 As good as advertised who wouldn’t want to see a KG vs. Duncan battle royal.
1) San Antonio Spurs: (3-0) Last week 1 oh hum, we’re the best